OTFD
Observe | Thought | Feeling | Desire

OTFD is a very effective way to talk about problems.

The goal behind this communication tool is to articulate feelings in a positive manner while focusing on a solution to the problem.

Observation
Something you observe with your senses that anyone else can observe.

Example: "I noticed you came home 20 minutes after your curfew last night."

Thought
A thought or opinion about what you observed.

Example: "My thought is that you did not care to keep our agreement".

Feeling
A feeling you had about what you observed.

Example: "I feel disappointed that you did not uphold your side of our agreement"

Desire
What you want (your desire).

Example: "My desire is for you to be responsible enough to get yourself home on time. If you are going to be late, I would like to have an agreement that you will call before your curfew."

Naturally, these examples of OTFD are for illustration purposes. You should practice putting this method into your own words.

The next time you need to discuss a problem with your kid, try OTFD. You will be happy with the results over time!